So you want to De-Certify?

22 Nov

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So the NHLPA hardliners are mulling over the possibility of decertifying. Great. Part of me, the vindictive part, hopes the NHL gets exactly what it wants.

Seeing as I’m in a particularly dickish mood right now I hope the NHLPA decertifies and gets everything they want. Screw the players and their collectively bargained rights. Screw their bullshit refusal to accept a 50/50 agreement. Screw their Union Boss who is hell bent on undoing the Salary Cap that I waited a season and a half worth of lockouts to be set up and preserved. But most of all, Screw Guaranteed Contracts.

These players dont want a Cap. They dont want to get a reasonable portion of of HRR. They dont want a partnership with the owners that saw them benefit in lockstep with the league as revenues exploded over the past 7 years. They want more. They want MORE. They are paid higher in proportion to revenues than NBA and NFL players despite playing a sport that earns significantly less and these guys arent happy that the NHL wants them to be paid at the same rate as the others.

Well I say fine. Let them have a Wild West if that’s what they want. No Cap? No problem, because your bullshit contracts wont be guaranteed any longer. Oh you signed a big deal and arent performing? Tough shit, get lost. Just bought that big house but the team found someone younger and cheaper who can do your job? Does Denny’s pay well enough to support your 4000 dollar a month Mortgage payments? Guess you’ll find out.

The Bastard side of me will be laughing when I start to hear stories of more and more former NHL players going bankrupt just a couple years removed from earning millions. I will have no sympathy. None. Too stupid to accept a fair deal because you havent had to use your head for anything except as a Helmet Rack? Not my problem.

The Following is a list of NHLers that I would Cut in a heart beat. Only a few I would bother to re-sign.

Shawn Horcoff: Too bad you idiots didnt do this a year ago. Try making 6 million at any other profession you alligator armed hack. Start practicing your one-timers again and maybe some beer league will invite you to warm up their goalies.

Brad Richards: You want 12 million to play this season??? Try Russia.

Vincent Lecavalier: You arent good. You never have been good. And you should be embarrassed to make 10 million a season. Enjoy early retirement.

Chris Pronger: Bank Error in my Favor. Collect 7 million dollars. SWEET! Oh, and I wish we had a “Burn Pronger’s Furniture” day. A-Chanel sucked anyway.

Roberto Luongo: You’d get re-signed, but not for a hojillion years. At least you wont have to stay in Vancouver.

Ilya Bryszgalov: Bears? What?

Ville Leino: I think Buffalo wants to go backsies with your contract. Maybe you and Linus Omark can find some Chemistry in the Swiss F league.

Scott Gomez: We all knew this day was coming. At least you tried. You failed miserably, but you tried.

Wade Redden: The AHL at 6 Million seems better than the Couch for 0, doesnt it?

That’s my list. Who’s on yours?

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